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Episode 8: Squirt, Squirt, Squirt

Posted on Feb 24, 2019 | 11 comments

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Sooooo, this episode went a lot of different ways. Jason spent waaaay too much time talking about the Flair Espresso Maker. We talk about drinks, of course. We briefly discuss our worthless blogs. And then we dive-bombed into children and education and antinatalism, which we just found out is a thing.

And why are we talking about this? I don’t know. That’s what we do. We should really re-think the format of these dumb podcasts if we are going to talk about, like, for real topics.

Black market sperm. That came up.

And, of all people, Brian taught us that there are fake boobs you can buy to simulate breast feeding. It devolved into a discussion about aggressively shooting milk at people across the room from fake tits. Honestly, it’s the best part of this episode. You should click HERE first so you can have the appropriate image in your head while you listen.


  1. I’m about 11 minutes in, and I feel like I may have already listened to this episode. But then again, maybe it’s just familiar because I was there?? I have no idea.

    • Oh, lord. Are we already repeating ourselves? We used up all of our creativity in seven shitty episodes?

  2. Possible title ideas:
    – We Like the Body Parts
    – Please Keep Those Puppies to Yourself
    – Squirt Squirt Squirt
    – I Get Kicked Out of Starbucks’s
    – Got Milk?!
    – I Definitely Brought Up the Fake Tits
    – Get Off Your Gamebox Thing

    • I think I’m going to vote for Squirt, Squirt, Squirt? It’s the most disturbing.

  3. And apparently *someone* forgot to turn off the recorder? Because the podcast ended and there’s still 13 minutes of dead air time after that. Hahahaha.

    • Riiiiiiight. I should probably edit that out. You’re welcome, future listeners.

  4. So, I’m at Starbucks right now to listen to this episode, but I left my earphones at home, so I am just holding my phone up to my ear like a loser. The mental story that I’ve got going on is that I am on a very important conference call.

  5. Listening to the story about the Flair Espresso maker (which is fucking AMAZING, by the way) just reiterates in my mind how much more I care about coffee than normal people do. That story was looooong.

  6. Awww, Diana. Sometimes I miss her. And then sometimes Dr. Mario.

  7. “We have no expectations for you, Brian. Zero.” Hahahahahaha.

  8. Can we do a thing where we call up people and use our creepy kids voices?

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